Title: -/10
- Grading
for title omitted as there wasn’t a title.
Forewords: -/10
- Grading
for forewords omitted as there wasn’t a foreword.
Storyline: 16/20
- The
storyline was there. I could see the build-up, and there was direction. I didn’t
have to re-read anything to find out what you meant.
- Descriptions
were vivid enough and were not too lengthy. This is good as lengthy
descriptions would bore readers.
- You
were able to capture the readers’ attention. You have a writing style that draws
the reader in and make it seem as if they were a part of the story.
- The
song lyrics fit the storyline perfectly. Their emotions portrayed were fully
brought out.
- It
was realistic and unlike the usual cliché storylines.
- The
plot was simple, and the characters were well-used. You were able to focus and
didn’t go out of point.
- It
would be better if you made the fight they had a little more exaggerated. Write
about how sad he was and exaggerate his reaction (of course not too excessively).
When you make the readers cry, chances are they’ll come back and read more of
your stories. Melodrama is the best tool for this.
- Also,
write more about why she was so cold to him. You wrote that the relationship
became stale, so try to let the readers know what’s going on in her mind. What
was she thinking when she was cold to him?
Characterization: 11/15
- The
main character (Junhyung) was described very well. His emotions, feelings
towards Eunrae, thoughts, etc were clearly shown.
- Try
to elaborate more and write about why he’s so bent on having only Eunrae as his
girlfriend and wouldn’t consider others.
- Not
much was shown about Eunrae. She is considered a main character too, so it’ll
be best if there was a little more written about her or in her point of view.
For example, why did she change her mind and go back to Junhyung?
- On
the whole, you had no problems with your characterization as all the basic details
about the characters were written.
Story flow: 10/10
- The
flow was very smooth. The pacing was also just right as it was neither too slow
nor too fast.
Vocabulary: 10/10
- You
had no problems in your vocabulary and word usage. Of course, expanding your
vocabulary further would be good.
Originality: 10/15
- You
need to bring out your story. Make it special and different from typical
stories. Perhaps you could add a twist. Doing so would allow your story to
leave a longer-lasting impression on the reader.
Overall enjoyment: 10/10
- I
liked how you were able to incorporate lyrics without getting confused along
the way. This shows that you planned for your story.
- It
was beautiful and realistic as it showed how relationships could change if both
don’t work together to make it last.
Bonus: 5/5
- Everything
fit nicely into place. I enjoyed reading it(:
- Also,
I didn’t see why it couldn’t get full bonus marks if there was no punctuation
errors, etc.
Total: 72/80 (omitted the Title and Foreword)
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