Author: mrslee19
Title: 5/5
- Your title was to the
point, and would attract readers who like Sungmin and Donghae.
- It gave a hint on the
storyline and the ages of your characters in the story as you used ‘HaeHae’.
Description/Foreword: 8/10
- Your description was clear,
but there was a spelling error (‘cutier’). However, I ignored it as it was from
your previous story, this story’s prequel.
- If you had added a brief
summary of the previous story mentioned, it would have been even better.
- You can further improve your
description section by organizing it. For example, put all the characters and
their details (ages, etc.) together under a Heading.
- Your foreword mentioned
where you got your idea from, which is good.
- You didn’t reveal too much
of the story, and you were able to interest the readers.
Characters: 15/15
- You had no problems in your
characterization.
- The characters’ feelings
for people around them were shown very well.
- The characters’ emotions,
feelings, thoughts, etc were clear.
Plot: 30/30
- The plot was great! Full
marks awarded! ^^ Need I say more?
Flow/Pace: 5/5
- It flowed very smoothly,
and the pace was just right(:
Writing Style: 10/10
- You have a writing style
that keeps the readers absorbed in your story.
Originality/Creativity: 5/5
- Definitely original, and
very creative~
Punctuation/Spelling/Tenses/Grammar/Vocabulary:
10/15
- Punctuation and spelling
were fine.
- Try to write in the past
tense.
- Try to work on your grammar
and sentence phrasing.
- Your foundation in
vocabulary is there(:
Personal Enjoyment: 5/5
- I ABSOLUTELY LOVED YOUR
STORY ♥
Marks Achieved: 93/100
Grade: A+
~~~~~~~
Corrections
Try to write in the past tense. Some words
were incorrectly used. For example, ‘he's been welcomed by a
raised eyebrow of his friend Hyukjae’ should be ‘he got welcomed with a raised
eyebrow from his friend, Hyukjae’. For this, I recommend you to read more. You
have to see a phrase a few times before you can register it in your mind permanently.
Reading is the best way to do so. Other than such errors, you have no problems
at all.
Side Note:
You made a new record. This is the first A+ I’ve given. SIMPLY E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T.
Keep it up!~ ^^
♥ cheonsa
~~~~~~~
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