When I Knew You Left (Two-Shot)

aingeal1004 © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Requester: Melinda

Genre: Angst, Romance

Characters

Lee Taemin (SHINee)

Age: 18 years old

Minyoung (fictional)

Age: 16 years old

~~~~~~~

Chapter One: Broken

“Let’s break up.” Minyoung stared into my eyes, her voice emotionless. “We have no more reason to be together.”

I didn’t know how to react. I would have begged, pleaded for her to stay, kneeled, anything… Anything at all – just for her to stay, to take back those words. But nothing came out from my mouth. It hurt so much I couldn’t speak.

“I’m sorry, oppa.” Her trembling voice and quivering lips betrayed her. “We have our own lives now. We don’t have time for each other.”

I could tell she was hurting too, but I was too useless. I didn’t know how to ease her pain. I couldn’t give her what she needed. I could barely even pay for my own expenditures.

“Ah.” It was all I managed to force out. “I know.”

“Oppa, this teddy bear… Keep it. When you are troubled, just talk to it.” She held out a big, cuddly bear whose face was bigger than mine. “It will help you. Promise me you’ll take care of it, okay?”

I was surprised and sad and hesitant all at once. Emotions churned through me. I wanted to just grab her hand and run off with her somewhere, but I couldn’t. I was surprised, too, as Minyoung was never one for cute and fluffy things. She was quiet and gentle by nature, and was mostly rather serious. I was at loss of what to do, so I just took the bear and left. The very least I could do was not to let her see me cry.

~~~

I strode out of the room and slammed the door, shoulders stiff. Why couldn’t the manager be more understanding? I am supposed to be home by my grandmother’s side. She doesn’t have much time left…

This is the second departure this year. Why couldn’t people stay by my side? Why do they have to leave? It’s so hard, so painful. I leaned against the standing cupboard. Glancing at the teddy bear, I decided to do something childish to relieve my pain and stress.

“Yah! Why can’t people stay with me forever?!” I punched the teddy bear on the stomach. “Why, why, why?!”

“Oppa, mianhae.” The teddy squeaked out as I stared at it with my eyes wide open. “Oppa, mianhae.”

“Saranghae, oppa.” It continued. “Smile please!”

“Pabo,” I scolded myself inwardly. “It’s just a recording.”

For an instance, I thought I sensed Minyoung. No, I actually thought the bear was Minyoung. It made my knees weak. She still wrote letters to me weekly, but I never managed to reply as there was no return address.

“Because she doesn’t want me to look for her…” I chuckled softly, tired and bitter.

Glancing at the bear, guilt swamped me.

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Mianh-” I choked. I swear I saw that bear nodding its head, telling me it forgives me. Shrugging and shaking my head, I quickly stood up and walked out of the room. I must be too tired.

~~~

Taeminnie Oppa:

It is going to be winter soon. How are you? I wish I could spend Christmas with you every year like we promised, but I’m afraid I have to spend my Christmas at my school dorm without you again like I did last year. At least I know you’ll spend it with Minho. Help me say thanks to him for taking care of you whenever I’m not around, all right? I pray that Taeminnie Oppa’s Christmas would be filled with joy, love and much laughter~!

Smile always because you deserve it(:

Minyoung

“Letter number 1-8-7.” I mumbled to myself as I labelled the letter and put it into the colourful box already filled with letters from Minyoung. I had kept all her letters – the first confession letter, the letter she wrote to me when we were dating, and many more. They were always short and simple. But, as she always told me, short and sweet makes the perfect pair.

This year, though, I’m not going to be contented with just a letter anymore. I’m going to find her by Christmas. I’m not letting her spend Christmas without me anymore. I love her… I still do, and will continue to.

~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: Cherished Memories

“Only one day to Christmas…” I whispered.

With the fluffy bear in hand, I stood at the train station. I was heading to Minho’s house. Perhaps some part of me always knew, but it still caused my throat to constrict as tears threatened to fall thinking of it. He didn’t tell me. A part of me screams ‘betrayal’, but another part of me knew he did it for me.

~~~

I knocked on the door hesitatingly. I didn’t know how to confront Minho about it.

“Taeminnie! You’re here early. I thought you were coming on Christmas to celebrate with us?” Minho’s mother smiled warmly at me. “Come in, it’s cold out there.”

“Thank you, Mrs Choi. I… I’m actually here to look for Minho.” I looked into her eyes and saw understanding. She knew me as well as my own mother.

She hugged me tightly. “Go on inside. He’s in his room.” She said as she gestured towards Minho’s room.

~~~

“Hyung…”

“Tae? What happened? Is anything wrong?” He turned around; his back facing his computer. He looked concerned as he registered my pale looks.

“I found out. Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice sounded cold and emotionless. “Where is she now?”

“Oh.” I saw knowledge flicker in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Taemin-ah.”

“Why – didn’t – you – tell – me?” I articulated each word, anger seeping into me.

“She didn’t want you to know.” He fumbled. “S-She… She loved you too much, Minnie-ah.”

“So where is she now?! I… I really want to see her…” Tears began cascading down my cheeks. “Why didn’t she tell me she was sick? Why?”

“Taemin-ah, be strong. Promise hyung you won’t break down no matter what.” He looked at me seriously. “She’s… She’s gone.”

“G-Gone? Gone where?” I collapsed into a heap in Minho’s lap, sobbing uncontrollably. “H-how… H-How d-do I make h-her c-come back?”

“I… Tae, I’m so sorry.”

I held the bear tightly in my arms as Minho let me pour out my grief.

“Oppa, saranghabnida.” The bear squeaked out. “Bogosipeoyo.”

I froze. It was not right. Recordings repeat. I sat rooted to the spot as realization filled me.

~~~

Taemin-ah:

If you’re reading this letter, it means you’ve found out. I can’t stay much longer. My time would begin to run out from the moment you find out. I’ll miss you, but I’m glad I managed to spend my last few moments with you. Don’t ever doubt that I love you. And please… Keep smiling and living for me. I’ll always be with you – in your memories, your thoughts and your heart. I was given a last chance to be with you, and I’m grateful for it. I’m contented to have met you, and even more – to have been with you. Don’t give up in everything you do. Most importantly, don’t give up loving.

With love,

Minyoung

This last letter was written in Minyoung’s scrawled handwriting. It pained my heart to know that it was the medicine taking effect on her. Written on a hospital notepad, this letter may be the ugliest, but it is the one I’ll treasure the most.

Facing the bear, I whispered ‘I love you’ and bid Minyoung a silent goodbye. I hugged it tightly.

“Oppa, smile.” The bear squeaked faintly. “Please?”

I forced a smile and hugged the cuddly bear tighter. I felt it when she left. It was suffocating, but I held back my tears. When I knew she left, I didn’t stop smiling. Because I knew she’ll be watching me, and I hoped that she would remember that my smile was the last thing she saw before she left.

Don’t worry Minyoung, I’ll live well. Only for you… Always. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.