Secret Silence

She ran. The moonlight cascaded down on her back like her tears, which flowed swiftly down her face. Lost in the hedge maze, she ran blindly. Memories flashed past with every dead end she met. It was like a story with no end, an aimless searching. But perhaps it wasn't the end she was looking for, but a place to hide, to escape. A place with only her, and silence. Silence which comforts and envelopes one in its arms like a blanket would. She searched for warmth, but also for the cool of the night, when the breeze blows gently on her face. She was like a beautiful mess, her personality clashing with her actions and thoughts. She wept, but within, she felt calm... Silent.

Review: Chinese Exchange Students

Author: Ayu

http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/TA6/contents.shtml

Requested through Novice in Tomboyism

Novice in Tomboyism Review Rubrics

Title: 5/5

-       The title was unique. It gives a hint to the readers on the plot, and also manages to catch the attention of readers as it’s not a title commonly seen.

Forewords: 9/10

-       The foreword was able to provide information on the plot and characters without revealing too much.

-       It was clear and organized, and it managed to fulfil the minimum requirements.

-       A warning was given stating that there was explicit Yaoi content.

-       It would have been even better if you listed the pairings in the story.

Plot/Originality: 17/20

-       The storyline was quite similar to typical high school stories.

-       The plot was not bad as you had direction. Meaning, your story has a storyline which seemed to be heading towards an ending, which is good. (This also helps your story’s flow.)

-       You were able to portray and use the characters in your plot well.

-       You managed to separate different scenes clearly throughout the story.

-       Full marks for originality.

Flow/Pacing: 7/10

-       The flow was smooth.

-       The pacing was quite slow for most of the story, but it was still acceptable on a whole as it wasn’t to the extent it bores the readers.

-       Some of your sentences need brushing up. Try to avoid writing very long sentences, as the tendency to have errors in long sentences is higher, and long sentences slow the pace. You can write a few short sentences in-between to help avoid that.

Grammar/Spelling/Format: 25/30

-       There were some grammatical errors. For example, you are supposed to write in the past tense.

-       Paragraphing errors can be seen throughout the story. You need to begin a new paragraph when a character speaks. Other than that, the format had no problems.

-       Spelling and typographical errors were little to none. Good job~! ^^

-       You made sense in and out of context.

-       More description (show, don’t tell) is needed.

Characterization: 18/20

-       The characters were well-developed despite having so many of them.

-       The characters’ feelings for others around them, and the way they react to situations were shown.

-       Readers are able to get a basic background of the characters simply from reading your story. This is very important in characterization.

-       The characters’ personalities were consistent.

-       One thing though: their flaws weren’t really shown.

Bonus: 3/5

-       I love YunJae. Hahas(:

-       Your explicit Yaoi scenes were at least passable.

Grade: 84/100 B

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Reviewer’s Note:

You could try requesting for posters. A poster that looks professional could get you more bonus marks. However, it was still a good effort on your part. As for your writing, you can write well(: The only thing I’d suggest is that you try to move the pace along. It was quite slow. Other than these, it was a good story. All the best in your future works~! ^^

♥ cheonsa

~~~~~~~

Happy New Year~! ^^

I know it's kinda late to post this up (as I just came back from Korea) but I really LOVE this graphic. Many thanks to my dear santa Sensei @ //♔ ℜavenous Ŧemptations! *gives tight hug* ❤
It's beautiful, right? ^^ Hyukjae~!! ❤

Review: Mr. & Mrs. Choi

Author: the_Dollhouse

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/107598/mr-mrs-choi-2ne1-bigbang-choiseunghyun-parkbom-top-topbom

Requested through ~~♡♥♥Super World Shop♥♥♡~~

aingeal1004 Review Rubrics

Title: 4/5

-       Interesting title. It’s not exactly original so I couldn’t award you full marks, though.

Poster/Background/Design: 5/5

-       The poster was great(: It really reminded me of the film ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’.

-       Your background was plain and simple, which is good as it keeps the readers focused on the story and its content.

-       The colours suited the theme very well.

Description/Foreword: 8/10

-       The description was clear and to the point.

-       The foreword was captivating. You are able to capture the reader’s attention really well with the fast-paced action.

-       You were able to give a basic image of the characters to your readers.

-       Try to state the genre and avoid typographical errors. This is the first page your readers will be reading so make sure there’re no mistakes.

Characters: 15/15

-       Characters’ emotions, thoughts and feelings for others were expressed.

-       The characters’ backgrounds were also shown.

-       Descriptions were well-developed.

-       Characterization was good on an overall.

Plot: 27/30

-       Sexy and fast-paced. The plot was really well-written.

-       It would be good if some scenes are dragged longer as it would slow things down a little so it isn’t too rushed.

-       The flashback-within-a-flashback thing was clearly written. Good work~!

-       E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T work on the plot. Need I say more? ^^

Flow/Pace: 4/5

-       No problems with your story’s flow. The pacing was a little rushed at some parts of the story.

Writing Style: 8/10

-       You are able to form scenes and show it to the readers instead of merely telling.

-       Similarly, settings were well-described.

-       The characters’ points of view were clear.

-       Work on your pace so that it doesn’t rush too much.

-       Try to avoid writing lines such as ‘BANG! BANG! BANG!’ to describe sounds, etc.

Originality/Creativity: 4/5

-       It was really creative, but not original.

Punctuation/Spelling/Tenses/Grammar/Vocabulary: 11/15

-       There were some typographical and grammatical errors.

-       Your punctuations and vocabulary were fine.

-       You had no problems in your spelling.

Bonus: 1 mark

-       Enjoyed your story~! It was really engaging(:

Marks Achieved: 87/100

Grade: A

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Corrections

There were some typographical errors. Grammatical errors were mostly due to mistakes in tenses.

Side Note:

You have creative ideas and are skilled in capturing the readers’ attention. You write really well(: Keep up the good work~! ^^

♥ cheonsa

~~~~~~~

When I Knew You Left (Two-Shot)

aingeal1004 © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Requester: Melinda

Genre: Angst, Romance

Characters

Lee Taemin (SHINee)

Age: 18 years old

Minyoung (fictional)

Age: 16 years old

~~~~~~~

Chapter One: Broken

“Let’s break up.” Minyoung stared into my eyes, her voice emotionless. “We have no more reason to be together.”

I didn’t know how to react. I would have begged, pleaded for her to stay, kneeled, anything… Anything at all – just for her to stay, to take back those words. But nothing came out from my mouth. It hurt so much I couldn’t speak.

“I’m sorry, oppa.” Her trembling voice and quivering lips betrayed her. “We have our own lives now. We don’t have time for each other.”

I could tell she was hurting too, but I was too useless. I didn’t know how to ease her pain. I couldn’t give her what she needed. I could barely even pay for my own expenditures.

“Ah.” It was all I managed to force out. “I know.”

“Oppa, this teddy bear… Keep it. When you are troubled, just talk to it.” She held out a big, cuddly bear whose face was bigger than mine. “It will help you. Promise me you’ll take care of it, okay?”

I was surprised and sad and hesitant all at once. Emotions churned through me. I wanted to just grab her hand and run off with her somewhere, but I couldn’t. I was surprised, too, as Minyoung was never one for cute and fluffy things. She was quiet and gentle by nature, and was mostly rather serious. I was at loss of what to do, so I just took the bear and left. The very least I could do was not to let her see me cry.

~~~

I strode out of the room and slammed the door, shoulders stiff. Why couldn’t the manager be more understanding? I am supposed to be home by my grandmother’s side. She doesn’t have much time left…

This is the second departure this year. Why couldn’t people stay by my side? Why do they have to leave? It’s so hard, so painful. I leaned against the standing cupboard. Glancing at the teddy bear, I decided to do something childish to relieve my pain and stress.

“Yah! Why can’t people stay with me forever?!” I punched the teddy bear on the stomach. “Why, why, why?!”

“Oppa, mianhae.” The teddy squeaked out as I stared at it with my eyes wide open. “Oppa, mianhae.”

“Saranghae, oppa.” It continued. “Smile please!”

“Pabo,” I scolded myself inwardly. “It’s just a recording.”

For an instance, I thought I sensed Minyoung. No, I actually thought the bear was Minyoung. It made my knees weak. She still wrote letters to me weekly, but I never managed to reply as there was no return address.

“Because she doesn’t want me to look for her…” I chuckled softly, tired and bitter.

Glancing at the bear, guilt swamped me.

“I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Mianh-” I choked. I swear I saw that bear nodding its head, telling me it forgives me. Shrugging and shaking my head, I quickly stood up and walked out of the room. I must be too tired.

~~~

Taeminnie Oppa:

It is going to be winter soon. How are you? I wish I could spend Christmas with you every year like we promised, but I’m afraid I have to spend my Christmas at my school dorm without you again like I did last year. At least I know you’ll spend it with Minho. Help me say thanks to him for taking care of you whenever I’m not around, all right? I pray that Taeminnie Oppa’s Christmas would be filled with joy, love and much laughter~!

Smile always because you deserve it(:

Minyoung

“Letter number 1-8-7.” I mumbled to myself as I labelled the letter and put it into the colourful box already filled with letters from Minyoung. I had kept all her letters – the first confession letter, the letter she wrote to me when we were dating, and many more. They were always short and simple. But, as she always told me, short and sweet makes the perfect pair.

This year, though, I’m not going to be contented with just a letter anymore. I’m going to find her by Christmas. I’m not letting her spend Christmas without me anymore. I love her… I still do, and will continue to.

~~~~~~~

Chapter Two: Cherished Memories

“Only one day to Christmas…” I whispered.

With the fluffy bear in hand, I stood at the train station. I was heading to Minho’s house. Perhaps some part of me always knew, but it still caused my throat to constrict as tears threatened to fall thinking of it. He didn’t tell me. A part of me screams ‘betrayal’, but another part of me knew he did it for me.

~~~

I knocked on the door hesitatingly. I didn’t know how to confront Minho about it.

“Taeminnie! You’re here early. I thought you were coming on Christmas to celebrate with us?” Minho’s mother smiled warmly at me. “Come in, it’s cold out there.”

“Thank you, Mrs Choi. I… I’m actually here to look for Minho.” I looked into her eyes and saw understanding. She knew me as well as my own mother.

She hugged me tightly. “Go on inside. He’s in his room.” She said as she gestured towards Minho’s room.

~~~

“Hyung…”

“Tae? What happened? Is anything wrong?” He turned around; his back facing his computer. He looked concerned as he registered my pale looks.

“I found out. Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice sounded cold and emotionless. “Where is she now?”

“Oh.” I saw knowledge flicker in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Taemin-ah.”

“Why – didn’t – you – tell – me?” I articulated each word, anger seeping into me.

“She didn’t want you to know.” He fumbled. “S-She… She loved you too much, Minnie-ah.”

“So where is she now?! I… I really want to see her…” Tears began cascading down my cheeks. “Why didn’t she tell me she was sick? Why?”

“Taemin-ah, be strong. Promise hyung you won’t break down no matter what.” He looked at me seriously. “She’s… She’s gone.”

“G-Gone? Gone where?” I collapsed into a heap in Minho’s lap, sobbing uncontrollably. “H-how… H-How d-do I make h-her c-come back?”

“I… Tae, I’m so sorry.”

I held the bear tightly in my arms as Minho let me pour out my grief.

“Oppa, saranghabnida.” The bear squeaked out. “Bogosipeoyo.”

I froze. It was not right. Recordings repeat. I sat rooted to the spot as realization filled me.

~~~

Taemin-ah:

If you’re reading this letter, it means you’ve found out. I can’t stay much longer. My time would begin to run out from the moment you find out. I’ll miss you, but I’m glad I managed to spend my last few moments with you. Don’t ever doubt that I love you. And please… Keep smiling and living for me. I’ll always be with you – in your memories, your thoughts and your heart. I was given a last chance to be with you, and I’m grateful for it. I’m contented to have met you, and even more – to have been with you. Don’t give up in everything you do. Most importantly, don’t give up loving.

With love,

Minyoung

This last letter was written in Minyoung’s scrawled handwriting. It pained my heart to know that it was the medicine taking effect on her. Written on a hospital notepad, this letter may be the ugliest, but it is the one I’ll treasure the most.

Facing the bear, I whispered ‘I love you’ and bid Minyoung a silent goodbye. I hugged it tightly.

“Oppa, smile.” The bear squeaked faintly. “Please?”

I forced a smile and hugged the cuddly bear tighter. I felt it when she left. It was suffocating, but I held back my tears. When I knew she left, I didn’t stop smiling. Because I knew she’ll be watching me, and I hoped that she would remember that my smile was the last thing she saw before she left.

Don’t worry Minyoung, I’ll live well. Only for you… Always. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.